Wordy Wednesday

Amember dat gerl kitty dat Dr G took in, da pregnant one? Well, when Dr G gots her she was about 4 pounds unner wayt, had fleas and ear mites and *ewwww* worms! Any way, she's been cleaned up now and haf gained 2 pounds and Dr G gaved her an ulta-sound and she haf one kitten dat he could see and it was moving around and he thinks she should haf dat kitten in about 3 weeks. Yeah, she is pregnant but dat is not what made her tummy round, it was alla dem worms in der. He is a little bit worried about da kitten cuz da mom was so unner-nurished but he's gonna keep dem both, or all if she haf more den one, and dat is good. He's been calling her "sweetie" and dat just might be her name. He sed she is a very charming little lady now dat she's feeling better. She musta been somebodies kitty afore cuz she haf no fear of beins and let him give her a bath and clean her ears wifout a lot of fuss, but he sez she was on her own fur awhile and he din't find a micro-chip in her. Well, now she gots a good home and she'll never hafta worry about starving or getting worms or, after dis one is borned, haffing kittens. Now, I'm gonna let Zippy tell some stuff...
Thank you Speedy, and thank you Dr G fur taking good care of Sweetie. Mom is furry worried. Dad had to haf some tests done dis morning and dey found a toomer. Da doktor sez it might be cancer (we hate dat stoopid cancer) but dat either way it hasta come out. Da surjun is suppose to call daddy today and schedule some CT scan or something and den da surjery. Da prollem is dat dad's inshurints (he's on something called a COBRA) runs out at da end of June and den he don't know what he's gonna do cuz most of da money dat was saved up is gone now becuz of something called a "stock market" dat fell all da way down into da basement. Wow, dat musta hurted it cuz it even made mom cry. Den mom sed dat maybe dad shouldn't haf quite his job and den she sed he maybe shouldn't haf bawt da cabin and den dad gots all mad at mom fur saying dat stuff and told mom she hasta get off her lazy butt and get a job! Sheesh, she's been looking fur a job fur 6 months now and even applied at da local Speedway gas station, da Walmart and Target and din't get hired. No one is looking fur a 53 year old when der are lots of 19-25 year olds looking fur jobs. Der's not a lot of jobs in her field either, dat is why she went looking fur other work. She reminded dad dat she was gonna make and sell catnip toys but he managed to bury alla her supplies unner his light bulb stuff and dat her cutting table is covered in his fotografy stuff and dat he keeps saying he's gonna get da office/craft room cleaned up but he doesn't do it and now it may be to late. She don't know what to do. We hope she can figger out something cuz we is tired of her looking worried and dad yelling all da time. Sorry to dump dis on yoo guys but it feels good to get it out.

Sadness

One of Mom's friends sent this to her last week...we got word yesterday that she is near the end of her horrible fight with ovarian cancer which had spread all over before it was discovered. Mom is having a hard time. This is her best friend from grade school thru high school and beyond...She's leaving behind a husband and four children ages 25, 23, 21 and 18 and a friend who is heartbroken. We may not be posting or commenting a lot this week, we know you'll understand.

Wacky Wednesday

How to win an argument with a dog: Yell
How to win an argument with a cat:
Begin with a standard ontological argument, such as Gödel’s Theorum.
Open with Definition 1: x is God-like iff x has as essential properties those and only those properties which are positive
Your cat will likely counter that no definition of the notion of “positive property” is supplied with the proof. At most, the various axioms which involve this concept can be taken to provide a partial implicit definition.
Ignore this interruption and continue with Definitions 2 and 3.
Your cat will yawn to discourage you and remind you that if a property belongs to the set, then its negation does not belong to the set.
Now is your opportunity to win. Quickly throw a Q-Tip into a grocery bag and run away

Our cuzzin Jeff came over yesterday with more treats and gave dis joke to mom...
He had some bad news, he has esophogeal cancer! Mom is furry worried about him, he goes fur surjeree Friday and she's gonna be der. Da doctors say dat it's very curable as he cawt it furry early, but mom hates dat C word. She lost frends and fambly to it and Punkin, da one dat came afore. Here's the thing, Jeff never ever smoked, in fact he's a trumpet player and smoking would make it hard fur him to play. He said his voice got horse and he had a constant tickle in his throat fur about a week so he went to da doctor thinking it was alerjees and dey could give him something fur it. When dey said it was cancer he gots scared, but den he talked to an oncologist and he was furry positive dat it could be gotten rid of. Now, mom knows dat he came over because he needs someone to be there with him, but, he, being a male, wouldn't just come out and ask. Jeff is scared of general anestetik, he lost a brofur who din't wake up and thinks dat if dey knock him out he'll die too. So, dey is gonna do it by numming his throat and removing it! Mom is sure dat he is gonna need help after da surjeree and prolly while dey is doing his radiation and chemo and she is lining up da rest of da fambly to help out. His sister is coming up from Florida to stay with him...mom is furry sad now, we hafta go lay on her.