How to win an argument with a dog: Yell
How to win an argument with a cat:
Begin with a standard ontological argument, such as Gödel’s Theorum.
Open with Definition 1: x is God-like iff x has as essential properties those and only those properties which are positive
Your cat will likely counter that no definition of the notion of “positive property” is supplied with the proof. At most, the various axioms which involve this concept can be taken to provide a partial implicit definition.
Ignore this interruption and continue with Definitions 2 and 3.
Your cat will yawn to discourage you and remind you that if a property belongs to the set, then its negation does not belong to the set.
Now is your opportunity to win. Quickly throw a Q-Tip into a grocery bag and run away
Our cuzzin Jeff came over yesterday with more treats and gave dis joke to mom...
He had some bad news, he has esophogeal cancer! Mom is furry worried about him, he goes fur surjeree Friday and she's gonna be der. Da doctors say dat it's very curable as he cawt it furry early, but mom hates dat C word. She lost frends and fambly to it and Punkin, da one dat came afore. Here's the thing, Jeff never ever smoked, in fact he's a trumpet player and smoking would make it hard fur him to play. He said his voice got horse and he had a constant tickle in his throat fur about a week so he went to da doctor thinking it was alerjees and dey could give him something fur it. When dey said it was cancer he gots scared, but den he talked to an oncologist and he was furry positive dat it could be gotten rid of. Now, mom knows dat he came over because he needs someone to be there with him, but, he, being a male, wouldn't just come out and ask. Jeff is scared of general anestetik, he lost a brofur who din't wake up and thinks dat if dey knock him out he'll die too. So, dey is gonna do it by numming his throat and removing it! Mom is sure dat he is gonna need help after da surjeree and prolly while dey is doing his radiation and chemo and she is lining up da rest of da fambly to help out. His sister is coming up from Florida to stay with him...mom is furry sad now, we hafta go lay on her.
39 comments:
That sucks about your cousin''s cancer! I hope it's been caught early enough.
I read recently that fasting 48 hours before chemo is supposed to be beneficial, and that low-sugar diets are supposed to also help against cancer. I have no idea if either of these is true, but neither sounds terribly dangerous, so they might be worth looking into.
The important thing is for him to fight. Doctors gave Lance Armstrong the slimmest of odds and look how wrong they were!
We are very sorry to hear that your cousin has cancer. :( We will purr and pray hard for him! But cancer can definitely be beaten. Our mom's dad is a prostate cancer survivor, and our dad's mom is a breast cancer survivor. Cancer is horrible, but these days, it can be beat!
OH Z,S,& S - We are so sorry to hear about cousin Jeff. We are sending him tons of purrs and prayers. He is blessed to have your mom in his life to help him through this very difficult time. Remember to give your mom tons of snuggles because snuggles equal love!!
Take care!
-The McKitten-Cats
(and their mom and dad)
We are so sorry to hear about your cousin. I am purring and purring for him. Hope all goes well for him.
We are sorry to hear about your cuzzin, we're sending purrs and prayers furr him, and (((hugs))) furr all of you.
Oh No! Anofur bad news among our furriends :(
we will purr ans purr and purr fur you bean cousin that everything goes well and he'll have a speedy recovery and fight the "C"!!
purrrs, K&O
Sorry to hear about your cousin. Let's hope he makes a complete recovery. And your Mom is terrific for going to be with him and help him out. I know you are proud of her.
This is terrible news. We will pray that he has safe surgery and makes a complete recovery.
You guys sure have a wonderful Mommy.
Purrs to her and to Jeff.
I am so sorry to hear the sad news about your cousin. We wish him all the best and hope everything will go fine! Great your Mommy is staying with him and got the family to stand around.
oh no guys! we is purring hard for your cuzzin!!!
oooo q-tip!
we're sending our healing purrs & purrayers....
Hi folks, we’re back! Now it’s Wordless Wednesday: Our Furryhood Nice to see ya all again:) and how’re our cats’ power doing? Please share yours in here , we’d love to hear from you.
Oh man, that's too bad. We hope the Dr. is right & everything will be OK.
We are purring for cousin Jeff.
Oh no, buddies, I'm sorry your cousin Jeff got cancer. I'm glad the Bean v-e-t feels positive about it being cureable. It's a good thing your momma can help him out--she is very good at taking care of Beans, I know.
Your buddy, Jimmy Joe
Oh that's so sad that Jeff got cancer, but we's glad it's a cureable type. We'll purr hard for him and for your Mommy to not feel tooooo sad. She's furry nise to go help him out so much. We'll purr for your whole fambly, in fact. Keep us posted when yoo can pleez!
Purrrrrrrrs,
Alla Us Hotties
Oh dears... Weze purr fur Jeff den.
Isaiah 43:1
We all hates that ugly C word! It's just nasty and evil! We are going to keep your cousin Jeff in our purrayers and thoughts for you.
Laila and Lilly
Oh dat is not gud noos bout yur cuzzin...we will be purrayin and purrayin dat efurryfing goes juss like dem doktors say.
We believe it will and dat yur cuzzin Jeff will be back playin his trumpet in no time. Yur Mom is reely nice to do all of dis furr him too. Cancer sux!
Purrs
Abby
Pee Sss
Tell cuzzin Jeff da dee whole catblogoshpere is purrin furr him, dat'll give him a gud chuckle and make him feels better....
KC said...
O, cuzzin Jeff, so glad you's catched tha bad C in time. An so glad you went to tha doctor right away.
One of tha posts that said a low sugar diet helps is right. But yours doktor will help you wif all that. Right now you's just remember now cancer is being beaten effurry day, over and over.
An we'll all be purring and purraying fur you... i's gonna put you on tha Pet Purrs & Purrayers bloggie.
Love & Purrs,
KC
Sorry to hear about your cousin me and mom will be praying for him.
I'm sorry about the bad news. Best wishes to your cousin Jeff as he undergoes surgery and treatment.
That was a very funny joke, but we're very sorry to hear about your cousin! We'll be purring for him, hopefully all the treatments will be successful!
Hey, Wow, we are so sorry about cousin Jeff. We're hoping he recovers from his surgery OK. Throat problems and playing trumpet is a rough combination!
Sending healing purrrssss to Jeff and the whole family.
As for Mary last name, The Food Source researched the names a bit, and there are a lot of variations: 'Ann' or 'Anne', 'Bonny' or 'Bonney', 'Reed' or 'Read', and so forth. He didn't find 'Reade' that he remembered, but that doesn't mean it isn't out there. There seems to be very little about either that is known for sure.
May Jeff has a successful path of recovery. :)
Oh noes!!!!!!!!!!! We are so sorry about your Mom's cousin!! We will purr bigtime for him and purray that he is going to be OK!!!!
Purrs for your Mom too!!!
Putts Mickey,Georgia & Tillie
we're sorry to hear about your cuzin being sick. we'll purr for him.
Oh, we are so sorry to hear about your cousin being so sick. We will be sending out lots of purrs and prayers from our home!
Oh dear me oh my...such sad news about your mommies cousin. I just know all will be well and he will make a ocmplete recovery and play his music again with all his heart!
Thank you for th ekindness of your donation to sweet poor Miss SILK> You have a golden heart for sure and I love you all so much....your miss peach
We liked the first joke lots better than the second one... :(
That is quite scary. Purrs for him and your mom too. The main thing is to keep positive and fight.
~Goldie and Shade
My good friends! I am furry sorry about this news..my mom hates that C word, too..we lost the Grandfafa to it..on his brain and both kidneys..we hates it with a purple passion! We will purr very hard and purray even harder for you, your mom, andjeff and the whole fambly while they draw together in love.
We are very sorry to hear of your cousin's news. We will be purring & praying for a full and speedy recovery.
oh my this is not very good at alls! I advice you that you gives him some temptashions to makes him feel better. when i eats temptashuns i always forgets about all the problems. also i hope he will be better! when he is recorving you could probably give hims intervenus temptashuns ok???
We are purring and praying for your cousin and will be thinking of him on Friday.
I also wanted to thank you for the Birthday wishes
Lots of purrs for your cousin Jeff. We will think of him lots on Friday and after.
We're purring for your cuzzin Jeff!
Grocery bag? ::pounce::
~Jack
i'm purrin an purrin fer yer cuzzin jeff.
luv--jh
How scaries!! We will PURRRRRS for him and your momma!
Our mommie's cousin voice sounded different too and she told him to see his doctor but he sad in a few months he was retiring and would be getting a full check up for new insurance.....they found he had lung cancer......he has crossed over the bridge and mommy misses him. We are purring for your mommies cousin JEFF!!!..Ty
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