Today is furball Friday... well, we'd all toss hairballs fur mom but thanks to our Furminator we don't haf a lot of those...as da Meezers would say, crappity crap crap crap.
We also gots dis really cool award from dem very cool reporters over at Kitty City Gazzette
And now, here to tell yoo a funny/gross/disgusting/awful/funny story is Sadie, who witnessed da whole thing...take it away Sadie
Thank you Speedy...This is a warning - if yoo are easily grossed out by bodily fluids, poop, barf and da idea of someone actually touching these things do not read any further....
On Wednesday daddy sed he din't feel to good. He was burping and, well, farting a lot and it smelled like someone had opened up a sewer. On Thursday morning, about 5:30 am, mom woke to da sound of dad throwing up. Now, dad doesn't just vomit, he also makes a sound dat someone might make if dey was being hacked up by someone wif a butcher knife. Aaaaagh, urrrrrgh, like dat only really really loud! So, anyway, dad was in der fur awhile and mom just went on about her bizness taking care of us. After a while daddy called fur her. When she gots to da bafroom she just about died...dad had dire rear and while he was sitting der he suddenly hadda barf, well, he tried to grab da garbage can to barf in but din't quite make it. Den when he hadda barf again, because he already knew he couldn't reach da garbage can he decided to just lean over to da baftub (it's close to da potty) and frow up der cuz he figgered dat's easier to clean up den on da floor (again). So, while he's leaning over and barfing all over da tiles and back of da tub he shoots poop onto da back of da potty too! Mom sent dad down to da basement shower to clean himself up and thinks "how do I clean THIS up?" (psst, we think she shoulda made dad clean it up, but den she woulda had an even bigger mess). So mom comes up with a plan, a purrty good one fur thinking of it in about 2 minits. She got some big lawn and leaf bags from da garage, a plastic shovel (don't ask) and duck tape (yeah, it sez duct on it but dem weerd beans don't know how to spell). She stript down to her unnerwear and put one bag on her like a pair of pants and duck taped dem up, den she put another one as a shirt. She put gallon size freezer bags on her feet as boots, rubber gloves on her hands and a shower cap on her head. Then she gots her "painting mask" and put dat on along with a pair of safety goggles. She looked like she was an alien or maybe one of dem beans dat clean up hazardous waste. She went in, it was fun to watch, she scooped slime into da garbage can wif da plastic shovel when she was done it looked purrty clean in der but it still smelled bad. She den gots a bucket of bleach water and da cleanser and went to scrubbing, polishing and scrubbing some more...she washed from da ceiling down. She changed her scrub bucket 7 times! How daddy gots barf on da ceiling in da shower we'll never know. She even washed da shower curtain and threw away da toilet paper dat was in der (it was kinda wet and mom din't know what from, ya know, did dad barf on dat or from his hands or....? Den she threw away alla da stuff she wore and took a nice shower. Da prollem we haf now is all dis happened on da day after gargage day so alla da bags of yuck are still in da garbage can and it's starting to get kinda warm outside.
Last Saturday mom was visiting Mrs T, der was a nice pregnant lady der visiting her gramma and alla dem were socializing in da very nice visiting area dey haf der when mom noticed da pregnant lady was kinda wobbling...alla sudden da lady started to fall backwards! Mom stuck her arm out to catch her, which she did, but she ended up pulling something and now she haf a big pain dat goes from her shoulder blade to her neck and alla way down her arm. And since scrubbing da bafroom it's gotten worse. So dad told her maybe she should put on dat nifty (not) sling and brace da doktor gave her a couple years ago and not move her right side until it don't hurt no more. So dat is what she did, now she does effurything left handed and very, very slowly.