Friday, April 24, 2009

Funny Friday



Today is furball Friday... well, we'd all toss hairballs fur mom but thanks to our Furminator we don't haf a lot of those...as da Meezers would say, crappity crap crap crap.










We also gots dis really cool award from dem very cool reporters over at Kitty City Gazzette


And now, here to tell yoo a funny/gross/disgusting/awful/funny story is Sadie, who witnessed da whole thing...take it away Sadie

Thank you Speedy...This is a warning - if yoo are easily grossed out by bodily fluids, poop, barf and da idea of someone actually touching these things do not read any further....


On Wednesday daddy sed he din't feel to good. He was burping and, well, farting a lot and it smelled like someone had opened up a sewer. On Thursday morning, about 5:30 am, mom woke to da sound of dad throwing up. Now, dad doesn't just vomit, he also makes a sound dat someone might make if dey was being hacked up by someone wif a butcher knife. Aaaaagh, urrrrrgh, like dat only really really loud! So, anyway, dad was in der fur awhile and mom just went on about her bizness taking care of us. After a while daddy called fur her. When she gots to da bafroom she just about died...dad had dire rear and while he was sitting der he suddenly hadda barf, well, he tried to grab da garbage can to barf in but din't quite make it. Den when he hadda barf again, because he already knew he couldn't reach da garbage can he decided to just lean over to da baftub (it's close to da potty) and frow up der cuz he figgered dat's easier to clean up den on da floor (again). So, while he's leaning over and barfing all over da tiles and back of da tub he shoots poop onto da back of da potty too! Mom sent dad down to da basement shower to clean himself up and thinks "how do I clean THIS up?" (psst, we think she shoulda made dad clean it up, but den she woulda had an even bigger mess). So mom comes up with a plan, a purrty good one fur thinking of it in about 2 minits. She got some big lawn and leaf bags from da garage, a plastic shovel (don't ask) and duck tape (yeah, it sez duct on it but dem weerd beans don't know how to spell). She stript down to her unnerwear and put one bag on her like a pair of pants and duck taped dem up, den she put another one as a shirt. She put gallon size freezer bags on her feet as boots, rubber gloves on her hands and a shower cap on her head. Then she gots her "painting mask" and put dat on along with a pair of safety goggles. She looked like she was an alien or maybe one of dem beans dat clean up hazardous waste. She went in, it was fun to watch, she scooped slime into da garbage can wif da plastic shovel when she was done it looked purrty clean in der but it still smelled bad. She den gots a bucket of bleach water and da cleanser and went to scrubbing, polishing and scrubbing some more...she washed from da ceiling down. She changed her scrub bucket 7 times! How daddy gots barf on da ceiling in da shower we'll never know. She even washed da shower curtain and threw away da toilet paper dat was in der (it was kinda wet and mom din't know what from, ya know, did dad barf on dat or from his hands or....? Den she threw away alla da stuff she wore and took a nice shower. Da prollem we haf now is all dis happened on da day after gargage day so alla da bags of yuck are still in da garbage can and it's starting to get kinda warm outside.
Last Saturday mom was visiting Mrs T, der was a nice pregnant lady der visiting her gramma and alla dem were socializing in da very nice visiting area dey haf der when mom noticed da pregnant lady was kinda wobbling...alla sudden da lady started to fall backwards! Mom stuck her arm out to catch her, which she did, but she ended up pulling something and now she haf a big pain dat goes from her shoulder blade to her neck and alla way down her arm. And since scrubbing da bafroom it's gotten worse. So dad told her maybe she should put on dat nifty (not) sling and brace da doktor gave her a couple years ago and not move her right side until it don't hurt no more. So dat is what she did, now she does effurything left handed and very, very slowly.

18 comments:

Parker said...

That didn't sound like much fun. I feel bad for your Mom and your Dad!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

I hope that your Mom and Dad get to feeling better.

Eric and Flynn said...

Your poor mum! We hope your dad's dire rear isn't as dire any more.

Chesney Cats said...

What an interesting day at your house.....

Too bad you couldn't take a picture of your mom in her barf cleaning outfit. Then you could of posted it on your bloggie. If she's like our mama, she puts embarrassing pics of us up. It could of been pay-back time!!

Hope your mom & dad are both feeling better.

Tracey and Huffle said...

I'm sorry your dad was sick and I'm even sorrier that your mum had to clean it up but I have a very funny picture in my mind of what she looked like!

Huffle Mawson

Milo and Alfie said...

O dear! Your poor daddy musta felt so poorly. And your poor mom had to clear it all up - it sounds like she is Superwoman! We are very impressed. We larfed a bit (acshullly a lot!) when you described it - so we apawlagize if that was rude - but it was very funny in a sort of yukky way. Tee hee! And we could imagine what your Mom looked like although we're a bit disappointed there was not a picshure of her in her toxic waste cleaning up "outfit"!!!

We do hope your Mom's injury gets better soon - 'cos wiv her being such a saint and clearing up the sic and poo stuff - it doesn't seem fair that she should hurt does it?

Skitto and Peanut said...

Yuk what a lousy time fur your humans. Sorry that happened.

Daisy said...

Oh my, that sounds like a terrible time for both your mom and dad! I hope he's feeling better by now.

Your mom is so inventive! I would have loved to have seen her in that getup. I'll bet she was gaggin' when she had to do all that cleaning.

I think your dad should treat your mom to a nice massage and spa day since her neck and arm is so hurty.

Angel said...

We are so sorry that Dad was sick. But, we could not keep from laughing at this story. We are sorry that we laughed and Hope Mom and Dad are both doing better now!

ML said...

Oh, it wuz bad. While you's was at tha Chatzy Room on Thursday night I's figgured it was bad.
Daddy Charley is still sick, his wasn't all at once like yours Daddy.
I hate it when tha Daddys get sick.
Mommy laffed and laffed at yours deskripshun of yours Daddy barfing... Daddy Charley does tha same fing. Is it jus a man fing? Mommy can barf an not makes a lot of noise, sort of polite like. But when Daddy Charley barfs, tha neighbors can hear him.
Hope effurryone is feeling better...
Love & Purrs,
KC

Beau Beau & Angie said...

Holy s**, um we mean holy smokes! We don't know wevver to laff or cry at dat story. Mom says yur mom should get a saint medal fur cleanin dat up. If owr mom hadda do dat she woulda added to da mess big time. Sounds like yur Daddy ated somefin reely reely bad and his body was doin efurrything it could to get dat poison owt of him reel quick like.

The Meezers said...

oh oh oh oh oh crappity crap crap crap - literally!! oh we is so sorry for your mommy to haf to go through all of that to clean up. we still don't unnerstand the barf on the ceiling.

our the mom almost hadded that happen to her at 3am this morning - she gotted the dire rear and then she felted like she wanted to barf. but in the end she didn't barf. sammy jumped up on her lap and she could not barf on him.

China Cat said...

Oh, I am so sorry for both your mom and your dad. I sincerely hope that everyone is better by now! It would be interesting to see your mom's outfit, hehe!

Purrrrrrs, China Cat

Victor Tabbycat said...

Gosh, Dad was sick one nite last week, too, but he wasn't anywhere NEARLY that aciting! Mom don't envy yur mom fur what she had to do, but da garbage bag haz-mat suit was jeanyous. Once you've cared fur a baby, Mom says you can handle more gross than afore, but she gets queezy where barf's concerned.

Maybe you should furminate yur dad so him don't get such bad harballs again.

Zeus said...

Goodness...that sounds like quite a traumatic experience. I feel very bad for your mom and dad. Hopefully, things are returning to normal.

On the plus side, congratulations on your award!

The Crew said...

Oh Speedy!! Why didn't you all come over here to get away from the smell?

Love,
Misty

PS We hope your Dad doesn't have that pig flue everyone is talking about.

Noll's Nip said...

I'm sorry "dire rear" and "barf" aren't typically funny, but the way you described it sure made me snicker! Hope your Dad is better.

Tober the Cat said...

Oh, that is such an awful story! And one of my staff is sitting here giggling (but she doesn't have much sense, so don't mind her). I hope your daddy is all fixed up now. . . or at least confined to a shower or tub!
~Tober