Bonfire of the calamaties (or how our mom rolls)

This is a piksher of Jeff's bonfire. Isn't it purrty. Let us tell you some of the stories dat dad told us about mom and da bonfire...the bonfire of the calamities as dad calls it. First of all, mom almost melted her jacket by leaving it to close to da fire...den, after she maked hotdogs on sticks and made s'mores and all da kids left and only da adults were left she started drinking adult beverages. Now, mom sez she only had three but dad sez dey were BIG and ekwivalent to more like about six. Anyway, she wasn't really falling down or slurring her words but, Jeffs property is huge, and da part by da house is flat but den der is a path that leads to a creek dat is a nice sloping hill until rite before da creek. Mom, dad and some other beans went to fill buckets out of da creek fur later...you know yoo gotta pour water on da embers, stir 'em and den douse dem again to be sure yoo don't burn down a whole forest! Well, mom was ahead of everyone carrying a lantern and all of a sudden she wasn't der! Dad started laffing but everyone else was wondering where she went. Yup, mom stepped on a rock or in a pot hole or something, fell down and rolled all da way into da creek. So, now mom is soaking wet and it's not exactly warm so dey fill der buckets, walk back up to da bonfire and mom hasta find something dry to wear...um, dad has sweats and a jacket in da car, great right? Well, not so much. See, dad is 6 feet tall, mom is 5'2 inches. Dad is huge, mom, not so much. So, she puts on deze sweat pants and hasta keep a grip on dem or dey will fall down. So, Jeff finds her some rope and dey pull her pants all da way up so she's not tripping on dem and tie da rope around mom and fold da top over da rope and der mom stands...looking like a dork. Oh, and she hadda ware her plastic "cleaning at da shelter" shoes cuz her sneakers gotted wet too. Wish we could show pikshers but mom thretened dad wif nootering if he even touched da camera. We think it woulda been worth it.