Mancat and other weerd things Monday

So, we were all suppose to go to da cottage fur da weekend...we were kinda disappointed dat mom sed we couldn't go. Any way, one of da SiL's nefews wanted to go and he just gots married last November so effuryone acided to let dem go and haf some alone time. Der's really no privacy up der and mom sez dat newly weds like dem need time alone...don't know why, but dat's what mom sed. Anyway, Friday night we'z sitting in da kitchen watching a movee and mom hadded some lawndree going and during a quiet and intense moment in da movee da sink (which was totally empty) gurgled. It scared da crap outta mom, she jumped and den da man wif da mask and knife in da movee gots shot and mom fell on da floor. It was furry funny! But, dad got up and looked in da sink, ran da growly thing and sed "hmm, that was odd". So, when the movee was over mom went to put da lawndry in da dryer and threw in another load to wash. She came back upstairs and sat down wif dad to watch some stoopid t.v. show and da sink gurggled again...mom and dad looked at each other and shrugged. Mom went down and put the clothes from the washer in the dryer and brawt up da towels from the dryer and put them away, then they went to bed. Saturday morning mom took her shower, den dad went to take his and mom went to da basement to get da stuff outta da dryer and DER WAS ICKY WATER ON DA BASEMENT FLOOR AROUND DA DRAIN! It kept coming up and going down, so when dad gots out of da shower mom called him down to da basement. Now, when dey bawt da house dey hadda call da plumber, who was a frend, to come and roto-root out to da main drain cuz da tree putted roots in da line, dey only hadda pay him $50 so dat wasn't so bad. Den about 3 year later dey hadda call da Roto-Rooter guys and it costed $250! Den again 3 years later and $350! Now, here we are at year 12 in da knew house and, yup, more roots. So, mom sez, dat's it, we'z buying out own power auger! So, dey went and gots one for $200 (less den dey paid da second time fur da plumber) and mom dragged it in da house, unpacked it, got it set up. She attached a hose to da lawndry tub fawset and started a slow stream of water running in da floor drain and den she sat in front of dis hole in da floor dat she called "the cleanout" wif da black button and da backward/forward controller in her hand. She turned it on and fed about 42 feet of dis metal coily spinny things down da hole until she started getting resistance. She hit something, let it spin in the hole until it just laid flat on da side den she feed more of it down der...alla sudden der was dis slurpy, whooshy noyze and da water started flowing like crazy. Den, when she pulled da metal coily thing out der was all dis stuff dat looked like fat hairs stuck on da end fur about 4 feet! And it stunk really bad...Yoo know what mom did den? She made dad clean it all off and wash her gloves dat she was wearing. She told him dat she was da plumber and he was da helper and dat's what da helper did. He told mom she did a good job but she wasn't a real plumber cuz she din't have "plumber's crack" den dey both laffed. Den Sunday dey went to da Home Depot place to get some styrofoam to fix da kitty houses in da back yard and mom went over to da ile wif all da kemikals to get some window cleaner and she saw something dat sez if you flush a pack down da bean litter every other month it will keep da tree roots from growing in da drain! Dey bawt some of dat stuff but if it don't work dey always gots mom's new toy - mom called it a snake but we don't think dat snakes are made of metal. Mom sez we were really good helpers, we took turns making sure dat da machine din't try to hurt her and dat da hose stayed in da drain. Zippy sez thank you fur all da purrthday wishes...she gots her speshul white cheddar cheese last night and she gots extra outside time. We will hafta wait until later to come around visiting cuz mom is going out somewhere wif da nefew and da SiL and she won't be home fur hours and hours. We wonder what dey do when dey go places like dat, she always comes home happy...we think she goes out and drinks adult beverages. Dad sez he is gonna be bizzy in da garaj fixing and re-painting da kitty houses and den he's gonna change mom's oil and his oil and cut da grass. Uh huh, we'll see...Oh, and a happy Sinko De Myo to effuryone!