We had fun last night. Da new game yoo came up wif was grate. Shooting dat spongeball out of a paper towel tube and letting me chase it and stuff was really fun. I had fun playing wif yoor toze too. Until I aksidently scratched yoo, and it was an aksident yoo effun sed yoo unnerstood dat it wasn't on purpose. If yoo knew dat it was an aksident why did yoo betray me and go and tell mom dat I needed clippy claws? If she isn't saying "spa day" it means dat she will just clip my claws and I will get no treats and no masawj! How, how could yoo do dat to me? Don't yoo love me? I din't mean to scratch yoo, honest! Pleeze don't make me get clippy claws....pleeze. I'm begging, I'm being cute, I'm doing all da stuff yoo love and yoo are still saying I hafta have my claws cut! Yoo are being mean and mom is being mean and I don't like it. *sniff* I will be good *sob* just don't do dat to me....
Yoor 'dopted furry boy
Crap boy, get a grip. Stop being a wimp and a wuss and for dawg sake stop crying. We'z all getting our claws clipped. You know mom will give us massawjes. Why do yoo hafta be such a drama queen? Sheesh, it's not like she actually hurts yoo. Do yoo see Sadie crying, she knows she's getting clippy claws tomoro. We all saw mom get out da clipper and no one but yoo is acting like dey are heading to da gallows. Gallows, yoo know, getting hung by da neck...no yoor not getting hung by da neck yoor just getting yoor claws trimmed. Yes, yoo'll get yoor treats and a massawj, sheesh what a wuss.